CMusic: FIRDHAUS

Do you know about the beauty of YouTube Video/Music Recommendations? Its endless new artists and music from all over the World. And just like that I enjoyed listening to this Malaysian Mandopop singer-songwriter named FIRDHAUS (Muhammad Firdhaus Farmizi). He grew up listening to Jay Chou (another awesome Taiwanese singer & musician).

Sharing with you the first song I heard from FIRDHAUS. What I love the song is actually the lyrics. Its these moments that I wish I know how to speak, read, and write Mandarin.

Mandarin Lyrics

English Translation

《我们都是第一次做人》 词曲：菲道尔 深呼吸 放下对自己的期许 没关系 你所有熬不过去 的问题 我陪你一步一步走下去 深呼吸 别对自己太狠心 没关系 我知道你已经 用尽全力 去爱这个世界 怎么不成正比 你尽管哭泣 我会默默在你身后陪你 静静不说话也没关系 等你看完夜空 颈项累了 就躺在我肩上 I’ll always be here for you 深呼吸 在这浩瀚无垠的 世界里 我们都是不堪一击 的星星 无论 这世界变得多么安静 请记得 我爱你 我会默默在你身后陪你 静静不说话也没关系 等你看完夜空 颈项累了 就躺在我肩上 I’ll always be here for you

“We are all human for the first time” Lyrics and music: Fidel  Take a deep breath  Let go of expectations for yourself  It doesn’t matter  All the problems you can’t get over  I’ll accompany you step by step  Take a deep breath  Don’t be too cruel to yourself  It doesn’t matter I know you have tried your best to love this world  Why is it not proportional?  You can cry I will accompany you silently behind you  It doesn’t matter if you stay quiet and don’t speak  Wait until you see the night sky  When your neck is tired, lie on my shoulder  I’ll always be here for you Take a deep breath  In this vast world  We are all vulnerable stars  No matter how quiet the world becomes please remember I love you I will accompany you silently behind you  It doesn’t matter if you stay quiet and don’t speak  Wait until you see the night sky  When your neck is tired, lie on my shoulder  I’ll always be here for you

FIRDHAUS’ Socials: Youtube | Facebook | Instagram

Another song from him that I love: Divorce in Ghana

The lyrics are quite sad but a fitting song for lovers or maybe couples who still love each other yet they have both chosen to part ways. Great song to play for Divorce Parties, if anyone is celebrating those. The song doesn’t blame any side, it just chronicles the fact that life can be very long. The last few lines also somehow says that “this life is very long and anything can happen because I never thought we won’t be together in the end”. Also, there’s an easter egg on the melody! HINT: it plays when you walk down the aisle.

Mandarin

English Translation

《在加納共和國離婚》 詞曲：菲道尔 沒想到 只能 走到這 看你濕了眼 我到底該說什麼 總以為 還有一輩子的時間 慢慢跟你說 再見 你不用對我說什麼 我哭不是因為我覺得捨不得 只是覺得努力了那麼久 最後卻還是敗給不適合 也許這一切都是最好安排 但我無法看著你離開 你還愛我嗎 你還愛我嗎 我沒辦法看著你雙眼說那句話 你懂我的吧 你懂我的啊 你懂我會不爭氣想回到你身旁 你不用對我說什麼 我哭就是因為我覺得捨不得 我們一起努力了那麼久 最後卻還是敗給不適合 也許這一切都是最好的安排 但我無法看著你離開 你還愛我嗎 你還愛我嗎 我沒辦法看著你雙眼說那句話 你懂我的吧 你懂我的啊 你懂我會不爭氣想回到你身旁 你還愛我嗎（我還愛你啊） 你還愛我嗎 （我還愛你啊） 我沒辦法看著你雙眼說那句話 你懂我的吧 你懂我的啊 你懂我會不爭氣想回到你身旁 原來一輩子 它真的很遙遠 抵達一輩子的時候 你已不在身邊

“Divorce in the Republic of Ghana” Lyrics and music: Fidel I didn’t expect that I could only go this far Seeing your wet eyes, what should I say? I always thought that I still have a lifetime Say goodbye to you slowly You don’t have to say anything to me I cry not because I feel reluctant to let go I just feel like I’ve worked hard for so long In the end, I still lost because it was not suitable. Maybe this is all the best arrangement But I can’t watch you leave Do you still love me do you still love me I can’t look into your eyes and say that You understand me, right? You understand me, right? You know I will never live up to expectations and want to come back to you You don’t have to say anything to me I cry because I feel reluctant to let go We have worked hard together for so long In the end, I still lost because it was not suitable. Maybe this is the best arrangement But I can’t watch you leave Do you still love me do you still love me I can’t look into your eyes and say that You understand me, right? You understand me, right? You know I will never live up to expectations and want to come back to you Do you still love me (I still love you) Do you still love me? (I still love you) I can’t look into your eyes and say that You understand me, right? You understand me, right? You know I will never live up to expectations and want to come back to you It turns out that this whole life is really far away When you reach the end of your life, you are no longer around

Generally, his songs and his voice are great for rainy, sad days… Do you like these kinds of songs too? When do you listen to songs like these?

Modern Day Witch Hunt of Daniel Armand Lee

There was a year or two, around 12 or 14 years back that I was following a Korean rapper and genius named Daniel Armand Lee or more known with the screen name TABLO. Last night, I was third-wheeling with my brother and his girlfriend and we got to talking about Kpop and remembered how I used to listen to TABLO.

And I remembered how amazed I was in the way he penned his emotions and what he was going through. And how his melancholic underground rap songs helped me cope with whatever confusion I was experiencing or perceiving then. Truly grateful to TABLO and the people who assisted him, his wife who was pregnant then with Haru, his direct family, and friends for not giving up despite all they had to go through where they were subjected to unnecessary hate and rage.

I am happy I got to buy one of his group’s album (EPIK HIGH’s SHOEBOX, 2014) in Korea. But my most favorite one by him as a solo artist is FEVER’S END, 2011. Putting that physical album as an ASK to the God & Universe. I’ve yet to finish his award winning book – Pieces of You, a compilation of short stories he wrote while finishing his undergraduate and masters at Stanford University.

Here’s a playlist of those songs he wrote during the “modern-day witch hunt” he suffered in 2010.

And here’s an article released by STANFORD UNIVERSITY about the whole ordeal and overview of everything that happened then. The backstory or context of how the songs and lyrics came to be are such a gem.

THE PROSECUTION OF DANIEL LEE: An Internet smear campaign nearly destroyed the South Korean star, but he fought back with the only weapon he had: the truth. (July/August 2011)

Daniel Armand Lee a.k.a. TABLO of EPIK HIGH, a Korean-Canadian hip hop recording artist, lyricist, composer and record producer.

2023 KSeries: My Demon – The saddest character

SPOILER ALERT!

If you haven’t seen the drama. Watch it first and appreciate this character better.

Noh Do-gyeong, first grandson of the Mirae Group

In my opinion as I’m binge watching the whole ‘My Demon’ Korean Drama series, I think the character with the saddest end would be Noh Do-gyeong.

Noh Do-gyeong is the only son to Kim Se-Ra and Noh Suk-min. Noh Suk-min is the eldest son of Ju Cheon-sook, chairwoman and matriarch of the Mirae Group. In the family, Noh Do-gyeong keeps quiet and is timid. He is not involved in any of the businesses of the family.

Why is he the saddest?

From what I’ve seen he exhibits Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) with anxiety, depression, and maybe Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) developed by years of abuse of all kinds by direct family since he was a child. And when the grandmother – Madam Ju died it feels like he also exhibited two grieving stages, guilt masked as anger and rage. He didn’t verbalize his motivations but the way his scenes where laid out and the way the actor portrayed this character, it screams a lot. The way he cried and laughed in varying levels of grief, resignation, confusion, disappointment, injustice and anger. I just can’t fathom the grief. He was brave and really tried his hardest to stay alive as long as he could to protect his mother. I am truly amazed by his self-preservation and he tried protecting his humanity the best he could. He had little screen time but his character has so much depth and possible back story. I am not justifying his actions. He didn’t really harm anyone until he was challenged by his own family to prove himself ONE LAST TIME. But if I was in his shoes, with that kind of abuse, I might’ve not existed for as long as he did. He made me remember this line, “This is how villains are made.” It is not that being a villain was the easiest choice but he was pushed by everyone to the brink. And the last straw was maybe when the person he was protecting said hurtful things that made him end it all.

It is sad because that one scene where he sincerely smiled at her mom for being silly of giving him an acne scar remover instead of a wound scar remover held so much hope and potential for the kind heart he never lost but was forced to hide.

Honestly, I relate to him so much. It must be that the emotions were familiar. He wasn’t a murderer, he tried to be, he almost did, but I felt that a part of him felt more relieved that no one died than the fear of disappointing his father.

And I wish for no one to feel this unnecessary grief. There are challenges that are necessary for people to grow but this kind of abuse, I’d like to think only happens in TV screens and no one is truly pushed to the edge by literally everyone. No siblings, no friends, no family, not even distant ones were around, all he had was himself. He stayed in the family when he could’ve ran away, he hoped until the very end and he tried protecting his mother that wasn’t brave enough yet.

If you are going through something, please take it from someone who’s been on the edge multiple times that it shall pass. If waking up is too hard, then sleep and ask would I like to get up now? Just keep asking and take small steps. Even before you know it you’ll be taking and making different choices.

2013 KMovie: The Suspect

A movie of suspense about a North Korean defactor whose already shitty life is being disturbed after he is framed of a high-profile crime.

I haven’t been paying attention to Gong Yoo’s career until recently when he starred in “Train to Busan” which I personally cannot get off my system yet. And this movie proved to me how I’ve underestimated his acting abilities. Now, his within my radar and I can’t wait to watch the movies he starred in before “Train to Busan.”

2013 KMovie: How to Use Guys with Secret Tips

This is one hella funny movie. If you’re feeling light hearted and or sad and want to cheer your spirit then you can definitely try watching this movie.

It’s more of an instructional video/movie about “How to Use Guys” and the psychology of men.

2012 KMovie: Confession of Murder

I attended my first ever Korean Film Festival in our City with my cousins last week. I didn’t do any research on the movies they were going to show but I was looking forward to “Beauty Inside” which I have been eyeing a few months before. I knew that the movie was star-studded and knew the plot but I was wondering how’d it’d end (but I didn’t get to watch that particular movie).

Keeping an open-mind and heart I watched this movie getting surprised how I didn’t know Park Shi Hoo was cast in it (I loved his ‘Prosecutor Princess’ drama).

2016 KMovie: Train to Busan

This movie left a very very deep visual impact on me. I’m not sure why but even as I close my eyes (’till now, it’s been a full day since I watched it) I can command my memory to clearly visually recall scenes in the movie that left me speechless and sobbing (which hasn’t happened to me before, ever).

2016 NA: How to be Single

Just like everyone has a unique body type that perfectly fits another perfect diet plan this movie shows the various ways people end up single and how they decide not to be single.

2014 KMovie: Night Flight

“That which surpasses Gender.”

I avoided to use the word “Love” because the general perception of people when they read the word “Love” is one defined by our culture, one that involves a male and female, one that is romantic. I warn those who are conservative and with homophobic tendencies to stop here and not go on further, but you can read on and watch it if you truly wish to understand another expression of Love.

2016 FMovie: Everything About Her

I didn’t watch the trailer nor did I catch it being shown on T.V. and therefore I didn’t know what the movie was about when I sat in the movie theater. The only fact I knew was it starred Vilma Santos, Angel Locsin, and Xian Lim. It’s definitely refreshing to see Xian Lim being paired with Angel Locsin (because they are usually often paired only with their on-screen love teams). They definitely did have chemistry.

The movie, I’d say is more on the theme of Family, specifically the reality that Mothers